Frustration

I'm really frustrated. I'm one of those people who works really hard at the things that I pursue. Attending a traditionally white institution has taught me very valuable but fucked up things about the world that we live in. 

My good friend Cyrus wrote an article about the definition of the term racist. Interesting, I know right? Yes it was very interesting. He pointed out that he himself is a racist by his definition, which is that anyone who doesn't actively fight against injustices and fight for equal treatment of people (generally minorities) is indeed a racist. That definition (in my mind) incorporates majority being racist towards minorities, minorities being racist towards the majority, and minorities being racist toward minorities. In response to this eloquent article people chose to talk about religion and our bi-racial president! What the fuck does racism have to do with the President of the United States (America elected unlike George Bush who cheated his way to the fucking seat!) and religion? Someone please tell me why people come to college and want to remain ignorant or closed-minded. I really need to know. 

I need someone to tell me why the people who think that they are adhering to nondiscrimination clauses THINK that they truly are when in fact they aren't. I have done many things on this campus that are positive and scholarly. I give 110% of professionalism and effort but I have yet to be promoted or even considered for a higher position in any of my jobs. Granted these are nine to five jobs as desk workers or student assistant positions BUT is this what I have to look forward to when I go into my career? Am I going to be the BEST apple out of the bunch and get looked over because I'm a woman that is Black? Am I going to be in and out of the Affirmative Action office because someone has said or done something offensive towards me? If so that's the BIGGEST load of shit I have ever heard in my life. 

It hurts me to think that even the people that I have a great deal of respect for are people who fit either situation. Everyone thinks I'm cold or whatever because I feel as though I don't need people. But that's my truth. I don't need anyone. Yes I prefer to have people in my life but sometimes people are expendable (in a sense) just like objects and other things. They can be just as deadly and toxic as smoking, drinking, or doing drugs. I was born in a  singular birth and when I am laid to rest I will rest the same way. There will be no husband or wife beside me. When I go I'm going alone which is how I think it should be.

NOTE: This is raw emotion. The emotion in a specific point in time. There was no editing or proofreading just me putting all I had in a word document. Enjoy.

Sincerely,

Kindness